Happy Hustlin’ & Soul Mappin’ with Cary Jack

Episode 055
Duration 37 min
Cary Jack - The Happy Hustler
Cary Jack

https://caryjack.com

Cary Jack is a man of passion, purpose and positive impact. He wears many hats and has a long list of amazing accomplishments, but today he identifies as a new father, loving husband and grateful dude.

This episode is a powerful message around “happy hustling.” Cary shares his quick backstory around real hustling, experiencing burnout, turning down a 7-figure deal, and then pursuing a better path to work and live in alignment.

Cary also shares details around his S.O.U.L. M.A.P.P.I.N.G. framework which guides us back to more balance and happiness. In fact, he walked me through his process on the episode! This is a simple yet effective assessment that you can use to gain clarity on 10 important areas of life.

I appreciate Cary for the energy and service he’s bringing to the world.  He’s on a mission to help people systematically harmonize ambition and well being. He’s also a lot of fun to hang out with!

Thank you, Cary, for the love, light and smiles you’re generating 🙂

Links
Transcript

[00:00:00] Ali: Welcome back, folks. Today I have a new friend, someone that there's been instant alignment with, instant energy. Some fun stories already to share, Mr. Cary Jack. And what I'll say in terms of how Cary and I met each other, we were at a cool event called FRD Live, through Front Row Dads this past December.

And we're playing volleyball having some good old sweat time. Yeah. I noticed I'm like, damn, this is getting up. He's spiking. And so I saw you just for the record, I might not have told you that I see athletes when we're doing FRD sweat time. And then we go and grab a glass of water. And just jumping in like, hey, where are you from? What's going on? Why are you here?

And what struck me instantly, Cary, is that as we were talking about sports and I mentioned to you, oh yeah, I'm a soccer player. You quickly asked why I don't play anymore. And that was an important question for me, because when we get into those discussions, like, oh, you love this, why don't you do that anymore, especially in like an environment that can be more entrepreneurial, like FRD Live.

Those are actually the discussions I value. And those are the discussions I remember, like I met Cary through playing volleyball. He asked me why I'm not playing soccer. Yeah. You explained how you had just recovered from an injury. I just wanted to share that as a starting point. And now I'll give you the space to introduce yourself. Who is Cary Jack?

[00:01:32] Cary: Yeah, man. Well, I do want the update. Have you been playing?

[00:01:35] Ali: No, not yet.

[00:01:36] Cary: Oh, come on, bro. We definitely need to get you playing. I played this past weekend and I was garbage. Cause it was seven on seven. Yeah. Outdoor. I'm in Florida right now. We're snow birding. I live in Montana normally, but yes, snow birding down here in Florida.

My wife and I, we pick a warm spot for four months and next winter we're going to the Philippines, because Montana gets pretty brutal, like Colorado, you know. But anyway, yeah, man, Cary Jack is just a happy hustler. Just looking to help people systematically harmonize ambition and well being truthfully.

[00:02:13] Ali: That's it?

[00:02:14] Cary: I mean, there's a lot.

[00:02:15] Ali: That can be it. I just want to make sure that you feel complete with that.

[00:02:19] Cary: I feel complete with that. I mean I'm wearing many hats. It depends on the day. Father, obviously dedicated father. I have a newborn baby boy, five month old named Kaizen. And a loving husband to a spicy Latina named Steph. She teaches me a lot about patience and I teach her some things too. You know, God bless her. And yeah, man, just, uh grateful dude, grateful for you.

[00:02:45] Ali: Dude, grateful for you too. I love that answer, Cary, because, I challenged you in a friendly way to ask, like, is that it? Because, dude, some people, you know, they like to talk about who they are in the world, and I respect that. I can hold space for that. But you were very quick. It didn't feel rehearsed.

It's just like, this is what I'm doing. And of course, now I have to ask, because I don't know the full story. We need to know how the Happy Hustle came about. So where do you want to drop in there?

[00:03:15] Cary: Well, you know, I feel a little backstory might be relevant because prior to actually happy hustling, I was just hustling and maybe some of your audience can resonate. I've always been an entrepreneur. My parents were both entrepreneurs. My dad was a mechanic by trade owned a repair shop, and then my mom was a chiropractor. And so I got to see what a small business took to run and operate. And, you know, it was not a loving marriage to say the least, very tumultuous.

They got divorced and many, many years of hardship between the two. But regardless, they did teach me entrepreneurship from an early age and what it took. And so I always wanted to be my own boss and fast forward, you know, multiple companies and failing forward, I actually had something going that had some merit.

We built a tech algorithm, you know, your space, and we were quantifying feedback on basically how to get better by asking a survey after you performed in the entertainment industry. Cause I was in the entertainment world, one foot as like a commercial actor and model. And I was realizing that I would do better when I got feedback from the casting director.

So we created this algorithm. It started to get merit in other industries, which I didn't see. The dating industry, the job industry, anywhere where feedback would be beneficial. This kind of algorithm could plug in and help someone in our whole shtick was in order to grow, you need to know.

Fast forward, even further, we had this like massive seven figure VC funding deal on the table, partnerships with Microsoft and IBM at play. We were grinding for like 18 months. I was living in New York City, just walking the tech founder walk and dressing the part and just basically faking it until we make it kind of thing. My brother and I.

And we got to this place where we had this contract for this large sum of money in a five year clause. Rightfully so beholden to the deal. Like if we're going to take this money, we need to be in it for the next five years and it just, it was so heavy, man. I was so burnt out. I was so tired because all I was doing was working. I wasn't prioritizing my family, my fitness, faith, fun, friends, anything.

And so I was literally burnt out and it came to this head in New York City at our, you know, I was renting a crappy apartment in Queens, New York with my brother and we were sharing a king size bed, actually, yeah, it was really bumming it. And I literally had this contract at our little coffee table that was stained. And it was just a dump. The whole place was a dump. And I was like, dude, I can't do it. And he was like, me either.

And so we ripped it up and we said no to the funding deals, no to the partnerships. I moved to Bangkok, Thailand for the next year. And my brother went back to the University of Florida to get his Master's in Sustainability. And it was in Thailand where the Happy Hustle was born. That's really where I started to put the happy in my own hustle. I figured out a better way per se to work and live in alignment. And yeah, as they say, the rest is history.

[00:06:26] Ali: Wow. Okay. See, I didn't know parts of that. Yeah. Man. There's so many things we could dive into. We could talk about burnout. We could talk about, you mentioned a bunch of F's, which I thought was awesome. Like I was out of line with family, fitness, fun.

So fun, which showed up for you and me when we first met. And then Thailand, dude, I love that country. It's so interesting, that's where you went because when I think of Thailand, it reminds me of some Fs. In fact, dude, one of my earlier tattoos on my forearm is Thai script, rokuun means be grateful. And I got this after a trip with my brother in Thailand.

So that country is a special place for me and the reason I got that, Cary, is because when I was there, I felt that. I felt welcome, I felt more family. I felt fun. We had a lot of fun, which I probably can't talk about on this podcast. It's a free place where there was more people smiling than I'd seen normally.

[00:07:27] Cary: Yeah.

[00:07:28] Ali: As I look behind you as a happy hustle and see that smiley face, like it reminds me of Thailand.

[00:07:33] Cary: Thailand's awesome. I mean, they call it the land of the smiles, you know? Yeah. It was a huge part of my journey and I do recommend everyone just travel because I think the best education is abroad and learning different culture, meeting new people, eating different foods. It's so valuable and it can really put your life in perspective, right?

Like how blessed we are living in the United States of America, being males. You know, me being a white male, like we hit the lottery. There's a lot of things that traveling can put in perspective and I don't take any of it for granted.

[00:08:12] Ali: Yeah, I sense that. I sense that from you. From the discussions we've had and the interactions, you have come across as someone who operates from a place of abundance and I mean that in a sincere way, Cary. Because I've met a lot of people that you'd think they have abundance, but they don't operate from abundance. They operate from fear.

[00:08:33] Cary: Mm.

[00:08:34] Ali: And energetically, it's very different. And this is something I want to reflect back to you. A lot of the times when you and I are talking, we were talking before we hit record about backpacking trips, which we're going to discuss, like we're smiling, we're laughing, the true parts of us are coming out.

But what's interesting is when you started talking about your story and you said, hold on, we got to go back. But first I was hustling. Both of our energy shifted. We both got serious because we know what that world is like.

[00:09:02] Cary: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:09:02] Ali: You know, and it has its place and I'm sure you learned a ton from it in hustling, I did too. But now, I recall that when I was hustling, I was doing it from a place of fear.

[00:09:14] Cary: Yeah. Same.

[00:09:16] Ali: And what I wanted to ask you about as you kind of transition. Some of these big words that are behind you that I've sensed from you, passion, purpose, positive impact. So tell me a little bit about that. Now that you are happy hustling, how are you creating impact now that's more in alignment, like you said?

[00:09:37] Cary: Yeah. And I will say like the, the words behind me are very cliche buzzwords and sometimes I'm a little embarrassed by them, I'll be honest.

But the reason I keep them is because I defined them and passion is like that inward calling on my heartstrings. Right. And then purpose is that outwards serving mission and ultimately to make a positive impact. Right. Like what's it all for if you're exploiting people negatively or the earth's resources, right.

So, when I talk about happy hustling, those concepts have to be a part of the picture. And now, you asked how we're happy hustling. I mean, mainly, we help entrepreneurs who are on the brink of burnout or potentially burnt out. What we say is systematically harmonize ambition and well being, right. Ambition meaning we're hungry for more quote unquote and to achieve how can we prioritize well being, you know, the state of joy is happiness throughout that process.

So, it's a system that we created the soul mapping system. It's a framework. It's in the book. And, it's just been a blessing in my life. Really it just started by scratching my own itch right after burning out. I was like, okay, I need to take a step back and see like, what are the key areas of life that give me energy. And that I need to focus on.

And so, again, I think most businesses start by solving your own problem first, and then you figure out like, okay, well, I could do this for others. So that's similar in this nature as well.

[00:11:14] Ali: Hmm, dude. I like that. Yeah. I like that you started with passions more about the inner game. Purpose is the outer game. And then positive impact, it's kind of the why. That's been something I've sat with Cary going deep into the world of self discovery where I've spent a lot of time and now supporting others. I can get to a place where the why, it's not always a hundred percent clear because sometimes I want to rest and that's just me practicing self care, which has its dance with impact, which has its dance with drive, because there is a part of me that wants to drive that entrepreneurial, like, yo, let's go do it.

The athlete comes out, you know, but I like that you have those simple words. I'll call them simple as a compliment. I don't think they're cheesy. And is there anything you wanted to share around that because you're talking about how of created a framework, a model around it. Are there any key concepts that are worth just sharing with us? Like how these are some of the things I've found on my path.

[00:12:13] Cary: I mean, I'm happy to unpack it quickly if you'd like and just kind of run through the overarching framework. And one thing that I like to do, even if you're up for it, I'm happy to do with you, which is a quick assessment of the 10 different areas.

And we could do it live on the air. And people can do it following along if they'd like.

[00:12:34] Ali: I'm down, I'm down.

[00:12:36] Cary: And that way it's interactive and also people listening can be a participant and maybe really get some tangible value on where they might be lacking in their life right now.

[00:12:47] Ali: I love that.

[00:12:48] Cary: Let's do it. So get out a piece of paper if you got one near and anyone listening have a note taking device. If you're driving, obviously, please don't injure yourself or others. But, basically I'm just going to get into 10 different areas of life. We call these the 10 alignments. And I'll just ask you to give yourself a score, an honest score in the last 30 days. Not from like your whole life, just through your last 30 days, just think about that.

And five would be like an A, you're like crushing it, you're happy hustling in this alignment. And then one is like an F, like you're failing, we need to prioritize change ASAP. And then subsequently two, three, four, you can figure it out. So, we'll get into it.

The soul mapping framework is, what we say is your soul's mapped to the blissfully balanced promised land. Because in my world, yes, balance, it seems like this pie in the sky dream, but really, I truly believe balance equals happiness.

And if you can manage your personal and professional life accordingly, where it is systematically harmonized, you will be happy hustling. So, that's why the soul mapping framework is what it is. The S in the soul mapping framework stands for selfless service. Okay. Selfless service is the first of the 10 alignments.

And I want you to just give yourself an honest score. One to one to five. Five is like, you've been volunteering a lot. You've been giving your money. You've been giving your time to causes and people that need it. That would be a five in the last 30 days. One is like, ah, dang, you know what? I've been living largely for myself or for my family and really for my own personal gain, which is okay, you you know, happy hustling per se. But let's give ourself an honest score.

So, if you're feeling brave, Ali, you could say your score as we go, or you could just total them up at the end. Whatever you feel comfortable.

[00:14:32] Ali: I'm feeling brave. Do you want me to say it now or later.

[00:14:34] Cary: Let's say it. Go ahead.

[00:14:35] Ali: Three. I'm three in that category.

[00:14:37] Cary: Okay. Awesome. O is optimized health. Optimized health is mentally, physically, emotionally feeling optimized. You know, that's a five. One is like you've been shoving crap down the pie hole, not taking care of yourself. You're feeling lethargic, low energy. Where are you at in this one?

[00:14:54] Ali: Four.

[00:14:55] Cary: And I figured that you're a athlete and a beast. So way to go.

U is unplugged digitally. Unplugged digitally is a very tough one, especially for our entrepreneurs out there. Five is like, you're being very deliberate with your devices, you have tech barriers, you have like digital detoxes baked into your routine. One is like, you're constantly on Netflix or YouTube, you're listening to podcasts, like there's no space per se for silence.

[00:15:26] Ali: Yeah, for now, I'm a five on that one.

[00:15:28] Cary: Dang, dude, I've never...

[00:15:30] Ali: I mean, yeah, dude, this has been years of work. Creating agreements with myself and, yeah, these things.

[00:15:36] Cary: Dude, that's rare. You're like the great white buffalo right now. So, I want to just shout you out because truly, I've never met anyone who honestly gave themselves a five.

[00:15:44] Ali: Well, I'll tell you the consequence of that. Your friends think you don't know how to text message. Sometimes you forget business meetings, Cary, I kid you not, not that much. Cause the old me would, I'd be on time for everything. I would literally say, hey, I am sorry, I was taking a walk. So it's this practice and this really like, I have some pretty conscious agreements and one of them is with my devices, how my family sees me with my devices, how we interact with devices.

I was just telling you before we hit record, like, bro, I'm pretty zoomed out these days, unless it's a podcast or something that I chose to do. So I feel grounded in that five. Yeah.

[00:16:25] Cary: That's, that's epic. Truly.

L is loving relationships, right? Loving relationships is like, you know, well, first of all, what is it all for if you don't have love in your life, right? So, you know, five is you're crushing it with your partner, your family, your inner circle, your friends, your children, you're being present. There's plentiful pleasure. One is like, ah, there's angst and despair and arguments. Where are you at in this one?

[00:16:50] Ali: Loving relationships. I'm really focusing on like holistically, not in this house, this home only. I'd say a three. Yeah, I'd say three.

[00:17:00] Cary: And, and again, this is just a baseline. But yeah, that's the first part. That's the soul part. So everyone out there should have four scores. Okay.

Now we got the mapping part. So M stands for mindful spirituality. Mindful spirituality you know, I really don't care one religion or another. I, Respect everyone's choice. I just think it's important to have faith in something bigger than yourself. And I think you should connect to a higher power, whether there's through breathwork or meditation or prayer, church, whatever. So give yourself a score. One to five.

[00:17:29] Ali: Four.

[00:17:31] Cary: Awesome. A abundance financially. Abundance financially people think this is like the most important one, right? But it's not. When billionaires kill themselves, people are like, why did it happen? Well, because money doesn't inherently buy happiness, right? It can support happiness, but I don't feel that it is the golden ticket. And so I just want you to give yourself a score. You know, do you have a system for saving, investing, spending wisely, right? Or are you living paycheck to paycheck, inferior finances? You know, one to five.

[00:18:05] Ali: Three.

[00:18:06] Cary: Awesome. The first P. Passionate hobbies. Okay. Passionate hobbies. Where you at in terms of doing fun things for yourself, like actually, uh, playing soccer, playing soccer, I was going to say, or, you know, fly fishing or doing martial arts or whatever, like painting. You know, I just went painting recently with my brother and sister. It was so fun just getting creative.

It's like little stuff like that. I could just fill your cup. Anyway, one would be, you're not doing any of that stuff. You're just, you know, doing stuff for your clients or your family, your kids, but you're not filling your own cups. Where are you at?

[00:18:42] Ali: Does this include things around nature, which aren't a hobby, it's a lifestyle.

[00:18:48] Cary: So nature is actually its own category.

[00:18:50] Ali: Okay. So in this, man, I'm a two. Yeah. You nailed it with the first question. Are you playing soccer? No, I'm not.

[00:18:56] Cary: Okay. Well, there we go. The second P, personal development. I truly believe you're either growing and evolving or you're shrinking and dissolving. So we had that choice. Just ask yourself, like, how often are you reading, listening, watching things that are educational and inspirational and informative, right? Like this podcast. One would be, you're just watching rom coms, you know, reading like fairytale books, maybe stuff that isn't relevant to your personal growth. So where are you at in this one?

[00:19:27] Ali: I'm a four here.

[00:19:28] Cary: Nice. And then I is impactful work. Impactful work, going back to, you know, the passion, the purpose, the positive impact. How inspired by your career do you feel? And unfortunately, bro, I feel like we're super fortunate, but, most people, studies show, three out of every four employees specifically by Gallup State of the Global Workplace study, state that they are unhappy and disengaged with their work.

And so, impactful work is lacking for a large amount of people, but you give yourself an honest score, like how impactful do you feel your work is, one to five?

[00:20:05] Ali: Mmhmm. I'd be a four.

[00:20:07] Cary: Nice. And then N, nature connection. So, you know, bringing it home with nature connection. This is getting outside, away from our devices, away from toxic blue light and recycled air and you know, 5G and all this EMFs. And, um, oh, by the way, protecting mother earth as well, right? Like this is a part of it, like being a conscious consumer, supporting B corporations, having a sustainable supply chain in your own business, right? Like these types of things. This is all a part of the nature connection piece. So where are you at in this one?

[00:20:41] Ali: I'm a five on this one, brother.

[00:20:43] Cary: Nice dude, you're crushing it. So now everyone should have 10 scores. You included bro. And so I want you to tally up your scores. And if you are a 40 or above, congratulations, you're happy hustling. If you are a 39 or below, well, we got a little work to do. So where'd you land?

[00:21:05] Ali: 39.

[00:21:06] Cary: Oh, dude. Nice work.

[00:21:09] Ali: I didn't know you had that happy huzzle right on the cusp. Well, that's what it is.

[00:21:13] Cary: If you just played soccer.

[00:21:17] Ali: I love that. I mean, that was fun and informative. So thank you. Also, I think it's part of how you present it, Cary. Even doing it on a recording, like it felt very natural. And we can have a conversation on each of these, right?

Yeah. I Like how it's 10 clear categories that I didn't have to think too hard. Right. Cause sometimes we create these assessments like, but that was, it was easy. As simple as even kind of fun. Like I wasn't resistant to any of this.

[00:21:49] Cary: That's really great feedback. Yeah. And, and I'm just going to unpack it even further. Like that is what the whole book is about is the 10 alignments. And so we actually have an acronym within the soul mapping acronym for each, right? So , if you're lacking in selfless service, our acronym to enhance your score is G. I. F. T. Give, Insight, Finances, and Time.

So within each of those alignments is a separate acronym. I spent a lot of time on this whole framework, bro. I went like real heavy in the IP game because I know I've taken those assessments where you're like, ah, there's resistance, it's friction. And I was like, I really want this to be like a really wholesome way to quantify life.

And like really how I'm doing, you know what I mean? And it's like, I feel like there's some out there. It's like mental, physical, emotional, even the five F's like faith, family fit, like, but it just, it still was missing some pieces for me. And so that's why I thought I needed to expand it to 10 different areas of life.

And sure, you could probably find 20, you could probably find 30, but, that's good feedback. And I appreciate that, man. Cause that's really what the book is all about. And you know, the core principle, the happy hustling throughout the whole book, I mentioned it, but it really is to prioritize each of these with equal importance, but focus on one at a time.

So prioritizing each of the 10 alignments. Like when I'm rocking the mic with Ali, I'm here 110%, but then when I'm on daddy duty, right after this, I'm going to be 110 percent with Kaizen, my little boy. But the problem that I see, and you can, I'm sure attest when people are at work, they're thinking about their family or when they're with their family, they're thinking about work. So they're not doing either effectively. Right.

[00:23:31] Ali: I love that. I like that not only having the 10, which feels very holistic, but then what you said is important, bring focus to one and be there, be with present. Because that can be the overwhelm I've noticed with assessments I use and assessments I've seen in the world.

Is like, great. I got all this feedback. Now, where do I start? And people get overwhelmed because I will, now I got to fix 10 things or seven things or three things. So I love that. I think that's also part of, well, one of the last things I want to ask you about, I think it, it lends into this.

[00:24:01] Cary: And we can keep going, bro, too. If you need more time like I said.

[00:24:05] Ali: It feels fluid. And I want to respect that you do have daddy time after this, which is important to me. What I wanted to ask you about is the last one. And that's because I'm privy to know as we've become better friends, like you run these epic outdoor mastermind retreats.

I'm going to give you space to talk to them, but I'm curious in how much that shows up for entrepreneurs or even just people that are hustling and don't have enough happiness, whatever that means to them. Or even from the assessment, if it's kind of clear as they reflect, like, "Oh, shoot, like I've got some, some things to look at."

How impactful is the nature piece?

[00:24:48] Cary: For most people, it can absolutely transform their reality, right? There was a study done. It's called the Three Day Effect. Yes, and you you know about it I'm sure, but the mental, physical, and emotional benefits of being in nature for three days are exponential.

Reducing cortisol, increasing endorphins, like grounding yourself to nature, tuning your circadian rhythm. There's so many benefits. We were, born to be outside. We evolved outside and here we are like. That's such a sad thing, but they say we spend now most, and this is the majority, but I don't know what the latest stat is, but just Americans alone spend 97 percent of our time indoors, right?

Like it's like insane, but that's the world we live in. Actually I should connect you with a buddy of mine. He has this company called Nature Quant. He's out of Colorado and he can quantify your nature exposure and if you plug in your address, he'll tell you your nature score in your neighborhood. I had him on my podcast.

It was pretty cool, but I think he's in Boulder. But anyway. The point is nature is imperative. If you're feeling like a little depressed or overwhelmed or anxious, nature is thy remedy oftentimes.

[00:26:09] Ali: Yes. So I could spend a lot of time talking about that. I'm just going to wholeheartedly agree with everything you said. The Three Day Effect became very real for me, Cary. And my buddy Chris out here is one of the guys that does the FRD events with me and what we've been toying with and I don't have enough data yet, or experience is a better word to know is like, is there a way to do it faster?

And not for the sake of speed? Because that's what our ego brain wants to do. Like, how do I get it faster? Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But more so, can I have those micro doses of it? And like, for me, which is why I scored a five there, I walk daily. I let my dogs inform me like, yo, it's time to walk. Let's go. Yep, exactly. Got to get off this thing, this computer. Right.

I sit in silence. I lay in the ground. I was telling before we record, sometimes when I'm feeling like I'm holding a lot of energy or space, I go and give it back to the earth. Like, hey, it's your turn to have this, to transfer it. And not only do I subscribe to nature for a lot of answers, rest, rejuvenation, but why your work with entrepreneurs in the backcountry and the other experiences you create is so important to me is that I actually think it's essentially the antidote.

Like we can give people playbooks or systems or diets and that's great. There's a place for that, but I've seen nature do things that some of that stuff takes a long time to do, right?

Whereas like, three days in nature, bro, or even better a five day boom. Like I've just seen people wake up and I'm like, yes. Like you forgot about this to use your words. This is where we're from.

Yeah. Where we belong. Yet we're used to being in the building all day. And you don't even touch the fucking earth for all 24 hours. Like how crazy is that?

[00:28:08] Cary: I know. I know it. It's sad, honestly, to me. But it's the reality and, it's only getting worse. That's the worst part, you know? So it's just people like you who remind others to get out in nature and how much better you can feel, I think is such a needed voice in the world.

And I know you speak on many different topics, but the space in nature, I think is a conversation worth having for everyone. It's a game changer.

[00:28:39] Ali: Dude, totally. Okay. Yeah, let's see. Um, what's the best thing about being a new dad?

[00:28:46] Cary: Oh, man, the smiles he gives me like what now he's starting to get a little personality and the level of love that I feel. And I know, again, it's cliche. Like people say, Oh, you, you know, you just won't know until you're first kid. But it is true. Like you just, you're like, what, what is this feeling? It's crazy. It's pure bliss and joy.

And honestly, man, I just had a guest on my podcast and she was like a newborn baby is the closest thing to God's creation. And she was like, my son, or it was either her son or her friend's son went up to her new baby and was like, He was like a four year old and the new baby was, maybe a week or two old, and in the four year old said, _"Can you tell me what God is like? I'm starting to forget?" _Because he just knew intuitively this baby came from God's creation is like this most beautiful, purest form of love and a miracle at that.

And so now I even look at my son with that pure blessing. Obviously waking up in the middle of the night and like the crying and the soothing, you know, it's definitely the most challenging thing I've ever done. That's for sure. But, the most rewarding. And yeah, those high highs from the smile.

[00:30:15] Ali: So not only did you paraphrase something that I've recited often when people ask me about fatherhood, I say it's the most rewarding and challenging thing I've experienced. But also, I kid you not, literally earlier today, I had a call with a couple other good friends. And the three of us, we like to geek out on consciousness.

And I'm sharing this with you because I brought up this scale that someone created, around different levels of consciousness. And it's like at the low end, it's where we just operate from fear, like I said earlier. In the high end, it's like into the realm of enlightenment. Full consciousness. Things that become very spiritual, very God like.

And I told these guys, I was like, uh, very recently, a few weeks ago, I was with a newborn very close to Kaizen's age. I think the newborn was four months and I was observing this child, Cary. And I was like, this child is so present and so awake and aware, like, yeah, it's like feeling its energy.

Even though it couldn't say anything, it couldn't really emote much, other than if it was hungry and at the time it wasn't. And I was like, guys, we start that way. And then we get into this messy world of figuring out our shit and feeling our emotions and all these things. And then some of us choose to find a path back up that way. So it's, it's a really interesting journey. It is. You're there like Kaizen's there. Like you get the gift of just watching and observing him, man.

[00:31:47] Cary: Yeah. They're definitely our greatest teachers, children. So yeah. And I know, you know, it did.

[00:31:53] Ali: I'm on that train for sure. Yeah, man. We are getting close to time. Are you up for a few rapid fire, fun questions?

[00:32:01] Cary: Let's do it.

[00:32:02] Ali: Sweet. First one, what's your favorite book?

[00:32:06] Cary: The Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. Ooh. All right. Yeah. Have it tatted on my arms. It took it to heart so hard. Nice, peaceful, and then warrior. I like that. Those are two, the yin and yang words. Yes.

[00:32:20] Ali: Yeah. Two powerful words to be together. Yeah. Alright. Number two, what animal would you be, if not human?

[00:32:28] Cary: Cheetah.

[00:32:29] Ali: That was fast.

[00:32:31] Cary: Like a cheetah.

[00:32:32] Ali: Why? Why? How do you know that so quickly?

[00:32:36] Cary: I just feel connected to cheetahs. They're pack animals, yet they're vigilant protectors. And they also have attributes that I admire.

[00:32:48] Ali: Cool. I dig that. Finally, brother, what's one of your favorite childhood memories?

[00:32:55] Cary: Uh, I would say obviously along the lines of nature camping out. As kids, we would go, uh, a whole bunch of families, like 30 families would get together and it was called like Indian Guides. I don't know why it's probably not PC. But we would go and like pick a different camp place every month.

And like the parents would go run amok and like party and drink and sit by the campfire and the kids would do whatever they want. And we were just like, I'll be, we were swimming with alligators in Florida, we were crawling under the stage at the Swanee river music festival. Like, you know, just shooting bow and arrows, firing BB guns, like just a great way to grow up in that sense for camping. And, and yeah, a lot of fun was had on those camp trips.

[00:33:47] Ali: I see it in your smile. I see what that brought back as you were digging for it and you got it pretty fast. Oh man, that sounds so much fun.

Yeah, camping, dude, I took my kiddos on their first real camping trip last year with a good buddy in his son. And it combines some of the things we've talked about. Man, you put kids in nature, especially camping where, like, if we had access to a lake, we had a nice little hike. Yeah, smallest things, man.

It's the fire. It's the sleeping bags. It's the, hey Dad, watch me skip the rock. Like, yeah, these are the things that like we've discussed earlier, a lot like reground us to where we're from. Yeah. Camping in particular, because it's a activity that involves a lot of us and like some communion, like. Everything else for me just fades away.

I was telling my kiddos because they were so mesmerized by the fire and like playing with it and we have fires in our home, but it's different around a campfire, right? It's not like a stoved wood burning fire. And I was like, do you know what people did before TV?

They're like, what? I'm like this. They watched the fire I can do for hours. And they told stories. Yeah.

[00:35:03] Cary: They call it redneck television. That's it.

[00:35:07] Ali: It's coming back, bro. Redneck television.

[00:35:10] Cary: Let's bring it back.

[00:35:12] Ali: All right, man. This was a gift. I knew it would be, I think it's one of many conversations and experiences. I'm going to get out to Montana. It's just a matter of when. The door's always open. Thank you for being here today.

[00:35:25] Cary: Thank you for having me, brother. I appreciate you. Sending you lots of love and light and everyone out there. Lots of love and light as well.

[00:35:32] Ali: Awesome.


Ali Jafarian

Ali is a creator and coach who's passionate about guiding people to their truth. That's a fancy way of saying he wants to help people realize their most authentic life. He's a family man, entrepreneur, conscious technologist, explorer, podcast host and many other things that inspire him to stay curious and learn. He's also a huge advocate for nature, hiking, adventure, testing physical limits and experiencing the natural world.